Three days ago I posted about my mom being homeless. Within the blog I opened up about my feelings and shared info about her mental health. It was the first time I revealed to the world what I had been going through for 36 years. Previously there were only a handful of people who knew some of that.
I expected the blog to be read by some people. I wasn't ready for what happened.
After I published it, I plugged my phone in the charger and thought about throwing up. I didn't. But I did finally pass out for more than an hour.
When I awoke and looked at my phone the number of texts, Facebook messages and comments overwhelmingly exceeded my expectations. It didn't stop for nearly two days.
The love and support I've received has been tremendous. I really appreciate all of you who have reached out to me in one way or another. Y'all made my heart burst.
I don't know why I didn't expect the story to blow up.
For 24 hours I felt foggy headed, as if I had a concussion. For the first time some of my most guarded secrets were tossed out on the internet for the world to consume. I was originally going to publish last week when I felt completely helpless, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. After going back and forth about it in my head, I finally decided Monday was the right time to share my story.
The most surprising and most important thing to come out of my blog are the private responses I've received from people who have dealt with a family member being homeless or they wanted to share their own mental health battles.
If you are one of the people who messaged me about your mental health, you're not alone. The more you talk about it, the more you'll see the support system grow around you. There's no reason to feel embarrassed or ashamed. I greatly appreciate you sharing your personal story with me. I'm always here to talk with you. I believe there are many others close to you who feel the same. You just have to be strong enough to speak up. Trust me it's worth it.
We all need to have more conversations about mental health. As long as we bury it inside and keep it secret from others, the tougher it will be. Just know there a lot of people around you, who love you and will support you through any challenge you face. There will always be someone who will be there for you in your darkest hour as long as you're open and honest with them.
Again, thank you everyone for your support. It's been a positive life changing experience for me.
I didn't tell my mom I wrote the blog, which means I obviously didn't tell her how many people now knew my and her story. I spent all day Tuesday with her going from agency to agency, reading comments and trying not to cry while sitting right next to her.
I didn't know how she would take it.
Finally Tuesday evening, somebody sent her the link and she read it.
She thanked me for putting it out there. She was sad about some of what I said. She obviously never knew how embarrassed I was about having a teen mom. She asked me about the response I had received from people.
I told her more than 1,300 people had read my story and hundreds had commented or messaged me their support for me and her. I mentioned there were now hundreds of people pulling for her, and not just a few. The look on her face was one of wonderment. She told me I did a good thing by speaking up because I was helping more than her and I.
I spent the last three days going from waiting room to waiting room in agencies throughout Tulsa. It's been an exhausting few days, and I'm the not the homeless one. I will probably write more in length about this process soon. It's scary and daunting.
She's on the right track to get housing. It's on her to continue going down the right path.
Now, I'll leave you with this:
A big part of the reason why I became motivated to speak up is this Youtube video created by Dan Mace, a South African creator who currently resides in NYC and strives to make conscious content. I've watched this video about 10 times the last week.